There are many medical conditions that can cause nerve pain. Living with nerve pain can be difficult. The pain isn’t just hard to cope with mentally, but it can impact your qualify of life.
This is my story where the pain is nesting for more than 7 years. Back in October 2011 suddenly I can not bend my left leg and the opposite my left leg can not be straightened out after I sit down. It takes some minutes for my leg to bent after stand and straightened out after sit. If forced, it feels like my bones are going to break and the pain is overwhelming.
Before the year 2011 I already feel there is something wrong with my left leg, especially when sitting on a motorcycle. At first I thought because there was a pinched muscle. The doctor said it was a varicose veins and but there was no history in my family who suffered from varicose veins. Another doctor said that my upper and hamstring muscles were torn. Well, that a bit make sense. In my free time sometime I go hiking with my friends, I also practice wushu and taekwondo. But I remember I also once slipped in the bathroom.
The muscle specialist advised me to undertake therapy with USG (Ultrasound) Musculoskeletal and Electrical Stimulation wich cost IDR 200,000 per 1 time therapy (long 2 hours session) per one/two weeks. The medicines cost money IDR 400,000 (I’m not buying the medicine on the next meetings). Try doing this therapy in almost 9 months with zero result. The doctor ask me to get MRI on my leg, but I don’t buy it.
Thanks God after 1 year my leg can be bent and straightened normally, but my legs still hurt when sitting or activity. I’ve tried a lot of practice from YouTube to overcome sciatica disorder but it only help to reduce in 10–20%.
In the end of 2015 suddenly I almost can not woke up from my bed. My back terribly hurts, even to move my body for 1 centimeter takes a struggle. After sitting down the back can not be straightened out, like someone who affected by osteoporosis. It took almost 5 minutes to get straightened out; my activities became very tiring. I go to many therapist and not helping much. Till one day an old man sinshe — acupuncture therapist — told me that my leg problem came from my spine.
Decided to do MRI (can not be detected with X-rays) and the result stated L5-S1 lateral recess stenosis, which mean nerve root compression from the narrowing of a nerve root channel in the lower back and can cause leg pain in any position. The lateral recess can be compressed by a disc herniation — in my case — or spur from the disc endplate in the front, a facet spur from behind, a ganglion cyst off a degenerative facet and from a translation of one vertebra on the other as in a degenerative spondylolisthesis. It says no patient can recover 100%, even after surgery with a 75% success rate — 50:50 failure risk (cause paralysis). A Chinese doctor suggested taking medication to Beijing, by injecting semen into the disc. The cost is cheaper but the back will not be able to rotate elastically.
Oh, I also go to swim once a week (recommendation 3 times a week). Swimming train the back muscles to be stronger for support the body.
Believe it or not, the diseases of this world come from the mind, while the trigger is our daily activity.
On my birthday in 2016 I said to my self that I want to heal. So, I made a step to fast for 40 days while undergoing the Three Hail Mary Novena. In my prayer, the Holy Spirit told me what causes it is an inner wound that has been kept for years since it was contained (in the womb). Trashes (the hate, anger, hurt, etc.) stored in my heart the longer the pile becomes heavy, so my spine is not strong to hold it.
I started looking for ways to clean my heart. One of them is by following the Healing Wounds Retreat in Cikanyere. You know, that’s not enough.. the key is your action to forgive people that hurt you. After the retreat I washed my parents feet and expressed my heart, both my disappointment and the hopes. Ask for healing in KRK (Kebangunan Rohani Katolik/Catholic Spiritual Revival), also following Young Woman event.
Those do help a lot, I feel my body more lighter. I can do my activities like normally and the back pain less than before. On Sunday every Eucharist I believe that the Host I receive is the body of Jesus that will replace the broken part of my body.
In 2017 I feel sciatic nerve pain is reduced and but still about 35% left to heal. I think to my self, some people cure from their illness less than a year.. but why it took for years. Will I be heal a hundred percent? Are there any wound in my heart that has not been healed?
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” [Romans 8:28]
Then I remember a story from the Bible about a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years and her faith has healed her (Mark 5:25–34). I start to fasting again like what I did the year before with Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Long after that a friend call me, she asked me if I would try to join the meditation class. Yeah, it’s worth to try (because I had insomnia since before entering Kindergarten), so I accepted her invitation. I’m join the incentive class for about 1 week and feel tremendous changes.
The meditation class called Mindfulness Meditation — Happiness mind. It teach us to be realize to our breath in our every activities, learn to maximize the function of the five senses and learn to be grateful for our life/what we had receive (be it good or bad). Breathe peacefully and reconcile with our past. Seeing every bad picture and accepting it, also forgive the mistakes that have been made.
So, I try to make peace with my life. I thank to every parts of my body who support me all this time, because I can still get up, sit, walk, run and even jump. Suddenly I remembered the Dr. Strange movie — maybe the story is inspired from the true story.
Anyway when we are stressed, the body secretes the hormone Cortisol. Cortisol can inhibit the formation of collagen. Excess glucocorticoids including cortisol can lead to thinning of the skin layers and tissues that support capillary blood vessels that make the body vulnerable to injury. In bone tissue, cortisol inhibits and decreases new bone formation because of its inhibitory absorption of calcium in the digestive tract. This is why in the long run having high cortisol levels can lead to osteoporosis. In the central nervous system, cortisol can affect behavior and psychological aspects. As glucocorticoids, cortisol has a significant effect on inflammation and the immune system.
When meditating, the face should smile.. so happy feelings arise. A happy feeling will stimulate the release of Endorphins — opposite of Cortisol. Endorphin is an extension of Endogenous Morphine or morphine produced by our body. This endorphin hormone will help the body to relieve pain, reduce stress, improve immunity and mood as well as anti-aging substances.
The recommended time for meditation is at least 2 hours a day, can be broken down by 30 minutes in the morning, 30 minutes in the afternoon and 1 hour at night. Meditation can be done by sitting cross-legged, walking slowly, even when eating/drinking. This is the music that I use for meditate. FYI, not everyone changes after meditation. If you can not be patient, made peace with all situations and learned to accept, it will be difficult to recover. Btw, this meditation not only helps relieve nerve pain, but also other illness.
Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. [Marcus Aurelius]
